This is one of the most difficult things I've done so far in this MA. It's really frustrating to have SO much information and know what it all means, but not be able to put it into a coherent format. UGH.
I have been trying (and procrastinating) on writing this chapter for 2.5days. I cannot put it off any longer. It must be done before I go to sleep tonight. I need 6000wds. I have 650. And 600 of those are quotes. *SIGH*
But I look at the screen and get writer's block. I am tired of writer's block. I never had it in undergrad. Now my supervisors intimidate me with their genius and I want to sound smart - and then I lose myself - and then it doesn't make sense. It's a cycle I've found myself in for the entire summer and I do not enjoy it!
And I especially don't enjoy it when I can actually SEE the end and just can't get there!
ugh. such a whiner. sorry.
okay - back to work!
23 August 2008
17 August 2008
The People's Republic of Cork
So when Ky and I were traveling a year ago, almost to the day, we pretty much circled the Republic of Ireland. Cork was our third city and one of the things that entertained both Ky and myself the most about Cork was the fact that they had t-shirts for sale promoting the "peoples republic of Cork". I don't know what Ky thought, but I thought that they were way cool - trendy almost. What I did not realise was how important this motto was to the actual people of Cork... I began to learn a little about it as I read my book, Rebels of Ireland; I started to understand the drive for home rule* (they didn't have home rule from the 12th-20th centuries) and the passion Cork people had for Ireland (and somehow Cork) as its own republic.
Since moving here I have learned much more about Cork - not nearly enough, though. I have learned that Cork has one of the most distinct accents - probably the first one that outsiders (like meself) are able to distinguish: they say things like, "Cark" and "tis a grand soft day, to be sure, to be sure" and are VERY proud to be Cork people! And (I don't mean this to be disrespectful at all) it seems like "Cork People" are a step removed from the rest of the Republic of Ireland - not nearly as much as Dubliners are, though. They are their own special (in a good way) brand of people!
At the moment, I am reading a book partially set in West Cork and I am learning about some of this Republican/IRA mentality - some of its motivations and some of its reactions to political scenarios and some of its paranoias and some of its proactivity. I am by no means an expert, BUT... I am attempting to grasp the concept of Cork People. It helps that one of my best friends here in Eire is from Cork, so I get some insight from her... but it wasn't until tonight when she brought a friend from home over to visit that I got a glimpse of what Cork - the REAL Cork - must be like, for some people at least.
This friend is a really great guy: passionate, political, real. and boy, is he passionate about Ireland! He's grown up with stories about his grandfather in the early 20th century, fighting for Ireland, for home rule and against the Union with England, and it is real to him - more real than I personally can ever imagine. He is the first Irishman I have met since being here who absolutely ADORES his nation and the struggles of his grandfather are palpable when he speaks of them. In the Celtic Tiger generation, where, because of its recent (and first) economic boom, the young people are pretty far removed from the trauma and suffering the Irish people have faced, this young man stands with pride in his nation and does not forget a past that wasn't so long ago.
I was impressed with him, with his fire and conviction. It was nice to meet an Irishman in real life like the ones I see in books... thought I'd share. :)
* mini-history lesson, the basics:
800 yrs ago, Ireland was invaded by the Normans;
400 yrs ago, they were invaded by the British via Cromwell;
1798, Wolf Tone and the United Irishmen united with France in an attempt to fight for home rule and lost (long story);
1800, Ireland became part of the United Kingdom and lost the Irish parliament;
1916, Easter Rebellion, where a few Irish Republicans attempted to gain control of Dublin and lost;
1916, the British reaction to the Easter Rising was overzealous and ultimately resulted in a nationwide anti-British rebellion involving guerilla warfare;
1921, Michael Collins signed the Anglo-Irish treaty which gave Ireland home rule over 26 counties and keeping 6 counties in the North of Ireland under British rule;
1922-23, Irish Civil War against the treaty, fighting for a United Ireland
Most of the rest of the 20th century involved guerilla warfare and animosity over the lost counties.
Since moving here I have learned much more about Cork - not nearly enough, though. I have learned that Cork has one of the most distinct accents - probably the first one that outsiders (like meself) are able to distinguish: they say things like, "Cark" and "tis a grand soft day, to be sure, to be sure" and are VERY proud to be Cork people! And (I don't mean this to be disrespectful at all) it seems like "Cork People" are a step removed from the rest of the Republic of Ireland - not nearly as much as Dubliners are, though. They are their own special (in a good way) brand of people!
At the moment, I am reading a book partially set in West Cork and I am learning about some of this Republican/IRA mentality - some of its motivations and some of its reactions to political scenarios and some of its paranoias and some of its proactivity. I am by no means an expert, BUT... I am attempting to grasp the concept of Cork People. It helps that one of my best friends here in Eire is from Cork, so I get some insight from her... but it wasn't until tonight when she brought a friend from home over to visit that I got a glimpse of what Cork - the REAL Cork - must be like, for some people at least.
This friend is a really great guy: passionate, political, real. and boy, is he passionate about Ireland! He's grown up with stories about his grandfather in the early 20th century, fighting for Ireland, for home rule and against the Union with England, and it is real to him - more real than I personally can ever imagine. He is the first Irishman I have met since being here who absolutely ADORES his nation and the struggles of his grandfather are palpable when he speaks of them. In the Celtic Tiger generation, where, because of its recent (and first) economic boom, the young people are pretty far removed from the trauma and suffering the Irish people have faced, this young man stands with pride in his nation and does not forget a past that wasn't so long ago.
I was impressed with him, with his fire and conviction. It was nice to meet an Irishman in real life like the ones I see in books... thought I'd share. :)
* mini-history lesson, the basics:
800 yrs ago, Ireland was invaded by the Normans;
400 yrs ago, they were invaded by the British via Cromwell;
1798, Wolf Tone and the United Irishmen united with France in an attempt to fight for home rule and lost (long story);
1800, Ireland became part of the United Kingdom and lost the Irish parliament;
1916, Easter Rebellion, where a few Irish Republicans attempted to gain control of Dublin and lost;
1916, the British reaction to the Easter Rising was overzealous and ultimately resulted in a nationwide anti-British rebellion involving guerilla warfare;
1921, Michael Collins signed the Anglo-Irish treaty which gave Ireland home rule over 26 counties and keeping 6 counties in the North of Ireland under British rule;
1922-23, Irish Civil War against the treaty, fighting for a United Ireland
Most of the rest of the 20th century involved guerilla warfare and animosity over the lost counties.
15 August 2008
dream
okay, so a couple nights ago I had a strange dream... and if you know me at all, you know that when I say I've had a strange dream, it must be s-t-r-a-n-g-e! It was very fragmented, so I will just give you clips. And I warn you that, although I am crazy, this was ONLY a dream. All parties in the dream are not responsible for their behaviours in said dream. Here goes (don't click on the first link if you have a weak stomach):
1) outside at night in a backyard that kind of reminded me of the Sparrows' place. tonnes of people (say, about 30-50?), all YP coming from the cars at the front of the house & already a decent-sized group in the back yard with me. I decide to climb up the balcony. don't ask. while I am still on the outside of the balcony, I see spider webs, but I ignore them. Keep climbing, see 2 spiders*, one of them is giant - like 2inches in diameter and solid white. It starts attacking me. FLASH
2) I am in the yard with the YP all milling around me. a group of us are sitting on the ground in a circle, waiting for something to begin. I look down at my hands and realise that the spider had bitten me on every knuckle and that it was spreading. fast. I panicked and told people that I had to get to the ER or I was going to DIE. and they all stood up and went to play games in the woods because everyone had arrived. so I am standing in the yard all by myself, watching my skin swell and rot, and I cry. a lot. FLASH
3) I'm in a restaurant with a group of people from church. It's mexican, I think. we are all sitting at a giant round table - sits about 12. and there is a debate. Dan L is involved. and it escalates into fisticuffs. Dan is beating this guy up and everyone is watching, some are cheering, and I am stunned. and I cry. FLASH
4) going to line up for a meal at a church camp - similar to NC camp with the multiple groups all eating at the same time - the group assigned to come after us was a camp for anger-management with young troubled teens. I got distracted watching some of the kids interacting and all my friends left me alone and didn't tell me they were in line. I make it to the line just in time to be the last person before the troubled-teens, but the lady at the counter assumes I am with the troubled group and starts lecturing me on how to get into the lunch line properly. I try to explain that I am with the church group, but she ignores me. I don't have the right code to be able to get into line.
and then I wake up.
WHAT?
feel free to interpret.
*this was posted because Mary's blog reminded me of the dream. I'm not entirely random...
1) outside at night in a backyard that kind of reminded me of the Sparrows' place. tonnes of people (say, about 30-50?), all YP coming from the cars at the front of the house & already a decent-sized group in the back yard with me. I decide to climb up the balcony. don't ask. while I am still on the outside of the balcony, I see spider webs, but I ignore them. Keep climbing, see 2 spiders*, one of them is giant - like 2inches in diameter and solid white. It starts attacking me. FLASH
2) I am in the yard with the YP all milling around me. a group of us are sitting on the ground in a circle, waiting for something to begin. I look down at my hands and realise that the spider had bitten me on every knuckle and that it was spreading. fast. I panicked and told people that I had to get to the ER or I was going to DIE. and they all stood up and went to play games in the woods because everyone had arrived. so I am standing in the yard all by myself, watching my skin swell and rot, and I cry. a lot. FLASH
3) I'm in a restaurant with a group of people from church. It's mexican, I think. we are all sitting at a giant round table - sits about 12. and there is a debate. Dan L is involved. and it escalates into fisticuffs. Dan is beating this guy up and everyone is watching, some are cheering, and I am stunned. and I cry. FLASH
4) going to line up for a meal at a church camp - similar to NC camp with the multiple groups all eating at the same time - the group assigned to come after us was a camp for anger-management with young troubled teens. I got distracted watching some of the kids interacting and all my friends left me alone and didn't tell me they were in line. I make it to the line just in time to be the last person before the troubled-teens, but the lady at the counter assumes I am with the troubled group and starts lecturing me on how to get into the lunch line properly. I try to explain that I am with the church group, but she ignores me. I don't have the right code to be able to get into line.
and then I wake up.
WHAT?
feel free to interpret.
*this was posted because Mary's blog reminded me of the dream. I'm not entirely random...
11 August 2008
re The New Pic:
This was a view from my kitchen window in June... rainbows are not as common here as you'd think, but when you see one... WOW.
thought I'd share... :)
thought I'd share... :)
the world's most boring post.
dont' say I didn't warn you:
Chapter 2, Draft 1 was completed and emailed at 5am on the morning of Saturday, 2 August. Had a meeting scheduled with Tom at 11am the following Tuesday (Monday was a bank holiday), so I slept all day Saturday and went to see Mamma Mia with one of my roomies and another friend of ours that night. Sunday was a wash - literally - I did laundry all day. And Monday was sleeping and cleaning the bathrooms day - and I finished reading the Other Boleyn Girl.
Meeting with Tom ended with an agreement for me to revise chapter 2 and add a-whole-nother section (like, 2000+ wds) to the chapter before continuing on to chapter 3. That morning, I got an email from Griffin to schedule a meeting for the following day, Wednesday, at 3pm. Tuesday afternoon, Nicole and I went to Ennis to drop off CVs in person to all of the shops in town - just to take a chance that we might get hired.
Wednesday, I spent the morning traveling around Castletroy dropping off resumes to the 2 major shopping centres in the area in the rain - it has rained every day for over a week now - before heading to campus for my meeting with Griffin.
Meeting with MG went well - new perspective, same expectations. I am truly grateful to have two supervisors who are actively involved in my writing process - and I think this thesis might just turn out alright! Having two different points of view helps me to balance out my writing and minimise my emoting, which is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses.
Thursday was a job search day all day until I realised that I need to stop for a minute and pray. So I prayed all Thursday night and most of Friday morning... and every time I panicked and went to apply for more jobs, I would stop and pray again. I spent the whole day in the library revising chapter 2 based on my supervisors' questions and concerns and by the time the library closed, the only thing I had left to do was that measely 2000+wd addition, haha!
And then Friday evening, as we were all cooking supper, I got my first phone call for an interview!!! Praise the Lord! After 50+ applications... it took me trying not to do it al by myself. I need to make sure that God is in control -- well, He is always in control, but I had to remind myself not to fight Him.
The weekend was spent reading and taking notes. All weekend. Well, except for the Saturday afternoon I spent window shopping with Serena and Diane. We went to the only mall in Limerick, which is across the city from the University, and they bought clothes and jackets and I just enjoyed the break. Sunday night, I was nervous about this morning's interview and ended up not falling asleep until 4am...
then this morning, I had my first Irish interview at 11am. It went well, yay! But I won't know anything at all until Friday. So I am still in prayer-mode. Learning life lessons has always been slow-going with me! The guy said that he was looking at me for 2 positions (one of which was not advertised, but is better suited for me) and that my CV was impressive (thanks to Dan L's resume workshop) and that I had a great personality and he complimented me on my interview skills (thanks again to Dan's lessons)... but there were 41 ppl who applied for this job and just under half of them are being called for interviews - and I was the first person. Maybe that is a good sign?
So there you go. My life is boring. Read, write, eat, sleep, apply for jobs, one interview and a film (FILL-um, as the Irish say). and rain...always with the rain... haha! I am starting to enjoy it. I went for a walk in the rain yesterday, just for the craic. :)
LOVE YOU ALL!
Chapter 2, Draft 1 was completed and emailed at 5am on the morning of Saturday, 2 August. Had a meeting scheduled with Tom at 11am the following Tuesday (Monday was a bank holiday), so I slept all day Saturday and went to see Mamma Mia with one of my roomies and another friend of ours that night. Sunday was a wash - literally - I did laundry all day. And Monday was sleeping and cleaning the bathrooms day - and I finished reading the Other Boleyn Girl.
Meeting with Tom ended with an agreement for me to revise chapter 2 and add a-whole-nother section (like, 2000+ wds) to the chapter before continuing on to chapter 3. That morning, I got an email from Griffin to schedule a meeting for the following day, Wednesday, at 3pm. Tuesday afternoon, Nicole and I went to Ennis to drop off CVs in person to all of the shops in town - just to take a chance that we might get hired.
Wednesday, I spent the morning traveling around Castletroy dropping off resumes to the 2 major shopping centres in the area in the rain - it has rained every day for over a week now - before heading to campus for my meeting with Griffin.
Meeting with MG went well - new perspective, same expectations. I am truly grateful to have two supervisors who are actively involved in my writing process - and I think this thesis might just turn out alright! Having two different points of view helps me to balance out my writing and minimise my emoting, which is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses.
Thursday was a job search day all day until I realised that I need to stop for a minute and pray. So I prayed all Thursday night and most of Friday morning... and every time I panicked and went to apply for more jobs, I would stop and pray again. I spent the whole day in the library revising chapter 2 based on my supervisors' questions and concerns and by the time the library closed, the only thing I had left to do was that measely 2000+wd addition, haha!
And then Friday evening, as we were all cooking supper, I got my first phone call for an interview!!! Praise the Lord! After 50+ applications... it took me trying not to do it al by myself. I need to make sure that God is in control -- well, He is always in control, but I had to remind myself not to fight Him.
The weekend was spent reading and taking notes. All weekend. Well, except for the Saturday afternoon I spent window shopping with Serena and Diane. We went to the only mall in Limerick, which is across the city from the University, and they bought clothes and jackets and I just enjoyed the break. Sunday night, I was nervous about this morning's interview and ended up not falling asleep until 4am...
then this morning, I had my first Irish interview at 11am. It went well, yay! But I won't know anything at all until Friday. So I am still in prayer-mode. Learning life lessons has always been slow-going with me! The guy said that he was looking at me for 2 positions (one of which was not advertised, but is better suited for me) and that my CV was impressive (thanks to Dan L's resume workshop) and that I had a great personality and he complimented me on my interview skills (thanks again to Dan's lessons)... but there were 41 ppl who applied for this job and just under half of them are being called for interviews - and I was the first person. Maybe that is a good sign?
So there you go. My life is boring. Read, write, eat, sleep, apply for jobs, one interview and a film (FILL-um, as the Irish say). and rain...always with the rain... haha! I am starting to enjoy it. I went for a walk in the rain yesterday, just for the craic. :)
LOVE YOU ALL!
03 August 2008
now this is worth watching...
My classmate/roommate/friend forwarded this link to me - its apparently a Cannes Film Festival Winner for short film. It's only four minutes long, but it carries a message that should last a lifetime. If you like the inspirational... click here!
hope all is well :)
hope all is well :)
01 August 2008
excitement? terror? it's a coin toss, really.
So it turns out that I have, in fact, chosen a research topic for my MA that other people find interesting :) It honestly was a baby concern of mine - I even brought it up to the external supervisor when she was here and my proposal was approved, I asked her if she was sure this topic was good enough, if it wasn't "overdone"...
anyway!
At camp, Bro Matthew sat down beside me one lunch and we talked just the two of us for about 45mins -- it was really neat! I have really enjoyed the time I get to spend with his wife, Shusheela (spell?) and she's been wanting me to visit them in NY for years and years - and his son, Sarge, is one of my longest friends - but until very recently, when I saw Bro Matthew, he's like, "HI! what's your name?" or "nice to meet you!" So it was nice to have a face-to-face visit with him and talk. Most of the conversation was him quizzing me on my thesis. Which evolved into an Irish History lesson, which paralleled the history of India, since Ireland & India were both colonized by England... and he's Indian. As a result, he has asked me to mail him a copy of my thesis when it's complete! I told him it would be around 100pp and he responded with, "and I would love to read every page". How cool is that???
and then today:
okay, back story, I guess:
I worked at that Utopian Studies thing, right? It was soooooooooo much fun and I am so excited I got to be part! It was on University campus and Serena and I were the only 2 classmates involved with the organization of the conference (did I tell you I get to put it onto my resume, fyi?), but the other classmates were attending some of the sessions and/or on campus doing research. And since nearly everyone in Ireland goes to lunch at the same time (1pm), we invited our classmates to eat with us. BUT - the conference was in a section of the dining hall that was blocked off from the rest of the public tables. So Serena and I sat down outside of the conference tables so that our friends could join - and the only thing was, it was the first lunch and Serena and I were some of the only faces people knew at the conference, so people started joining us outside the conference borders, too! and they kept coming... & coming... and we filled up a table of about 30-40ppl, which made me feel badly, but what could I do? so the banquet servers had to bring water pitchers and salt/pepper over to our table. oops! at least the lady knew me and I explained what happened and she just laughed.
regardless -- off topic! -- one of the ladies who sat down with us was a Senior Lecturer at Oxford Brookes University in England. She's an American and her name is Nicole Pohl. I had never seen her before, but I guess she recognised me or Serena, so she sat down across from me and we talked for a bit. I did not realise at the time that she was one of the keynote presenters - so I didn't really ask her about her research. I just asked her about her... and she did the same.
So then I get to her keynote 2 days later, and halfway through (b/c I had registration stuff to do), and turns out that her paper was on the Irish portion of MY thesis! lol! Well, not the whole presentation, but the part i heard for sure - and it was all about my chapter three, woot!
So I emailed her last week and asked her for a copy of her presentation so that I might use it in my thesis and told her what I am researching, and she asked me for a copy of my thesis to read when it's complete!
So yay! My stuff is not so overdone that people are disinterested!!! :)
Now I have to really write this thing. And pretty well, too, if world-renowned scholars are asking for copies... no pressure :)
anyway!
At camp, Bro Matthew sat down beside me one lunch and we talked just the two of us for about 45mins -- it was really neat! I have really enjoyed the time I get to spend with his wife, Shusheela (spell?) and she's been wanting me to visit them in NY for years and years - and his son, Sarge, is one of my longest friends - but until very recently, when I saw Bro Matthew, he's like, "HI! what's your name?" or "nice to meet you!" So it was nice to have a face-to-face visit with him and talk. Most of the conversation was him quizzing me on my thesis. Which evolved into an Irish History lesson, which paralleled the history of India, since Ireland & India were both colonized by England... and he's Indian. As a result, he has asked me to mail him a copy of my thesis when it's complete! I told him it would be around 100pp and he responded with, "and I would love to read every page". How cool is that???
and then today:
okay, back story, I guess:
I worked at that Utopian Studies thing, right? It was soooooooooo much fun and I am so excited I got to be part! It was on University campus and Serena and I were the only 2 classmates involved with the organization of the conference (did I tell you I get to put it onto my resume, fyi?), but the other classmates were attending some of the sessions and/or on campus doing research. And since nearly everyone in Ireland goes to lunch at the same time (1pm), we invited our classmates to eat with us. BUT - the conference was in a section of the dining hall that was blocked off from the rest of the public tables. So Serena and I sat down outside of the conference tables so that our friends could join - and the only thing was, it was the first lunch and Serena and I were some of the only faces people knew at the conference, so people started joining us outside the conference borders, too! and they kept coming... & coming... and we filled up a table of about 30-40ppl, which made me feel badly, but what could I do? so the banquet servers had to bring water pitchers and salt/pepper over to our table. oops! at least the lady knew me and I explained what happened and she just laughed.
regardless -- off topic! -- one of the ladies who sat down with us was a Senior Lecturer at Oxford Brookes University in England. She's an American and her name is Nicole Pohl. I had never seen her before, but I guess she recognised me or Serena, so she sat down across from me and we talked for a bit. I did not realise at the time that she was one of the keynote presenters - so I didn't really ask her about her research. I just asked her about her... and she did the same.
So then I get to her keynote 2 days later, and halfway through (b/c I had registration stuff to do), and turns out that her paper was on the Irish portion of MY thesis! lol! Well, not the whole presentation, but the part i heard for sure - and it was all about my chapter three, woot!
So I emailed her last week and asked her for a copy of her presentation so that I might use it in my thesis and told her what I am researching, and she asked me for a copy of my thesis to read when it's complete!
So yay! My stuff is not so overdone that people are disinterested!!! :)
Now I have to really write this thing. And pretty well, too, if world-renowned scholars are asking for copies... no pressure :)
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