Academic Honesty

Below you'll find excerpts from a recent response paper I sent in to one of my profs... yes, yes I did.

Throughout this course, I have struggled with the content. I am an extremely modest person and a practicing Christian, and I was concerned that I might have to compromise my integrity for the sake of my education. I honestly only registered for this course because I wanted to expedite my qualifying exams, and CPLT 703 must be taken before I can write them. I have lived my life combating what I now know to be “liberal feminism”. I truly believe (on a personal level) that women and men are – and should be – different yet interdependent. I like to simplify my life, not complicate it with complex unknowns; life is complex enough without me over-thinking it. So postmodernist theory nearly drove me insane. There were times when I had suicidal thoughts as I struggled with the “undoing” of gender.
But I am in graduate school. As much as I may disagree with the subject matter, I never want to be one of those Christians who close their minds in the hopes of making the discomfort disappear. I want to learn. I want to understand. I want to love all members of humankind, whether we are in agreement or not. With this is mind, I attempted to break through the barriers I have concerning postmodernity and gender theory to figure out what these theorists are trying to say. My two biggest challenges were the Judiths: Judith Butler was a struggle for me because of her incessant need to destabilize, Judith/Jack Halberstam because of her abrasive penchant for the negative. But I kept looking for nuggets of something from which I could squeeze a drop of agreement, and I found some! That’s what graduate school is all about: thinking outside of the box, pushing against personal boundaries and realizing that the world is bigger than one can imagine, right?



Personally, I am truly grateful that the course syllabus was altered to incorporate Michel Foucault. Although, prior to this reading, I was able to forage through the materials that were heavy with instability and hostility, and although I was able to grasp concepts of guilt and shame, performance, “undoing”, and have come to a greater understanding of postmodernity, it was The History of Sexuality that brought all these together for me. I find it amusing that in his attempt to show the fragmentation of deviance and the multiplication of perversions, I am able to discern a synthesis for gender theory in contemporary society. His work bridged a gap for me between my reticence to embrace gender theory and my craving for knowledge. By using Foucault’s work as a lens, I feel like I will be able to welcome gender theory into my educational sphere without concern for the compromise that lingered in my mind early in the course. I appreciate his attempt to segregate his Self from his work. I think that is a big part of why I struggled early on with Butler and Halberstam: they were writing about something from such a personal perspective that I had difficulty appreciating the theoretical value of their research. Because I could not identify on a personal level with their lifestyles and the lifestyles of those about whom they wrote, it was a constant struggle to hear what they wanted to say. Michel writes as though he is not a part of the society about which he writes, which makes it easier to see the work rather than the person. I am fascinated by my own revelations in this response paper and I am excited to see what else I can glean from the texts now that my personal private and public spheres are more permeable, and I can now honestly say that I am glad I took this course.

Chuck Me

What did I do in NYC, you ask?



yep. that's right. I had a photo made at the NBC store & laughed the whole time! I also bought 2 coffee mugs: Chuck & Psych. In the 36hrs of walking, we managed to enter the NBC store thrice.

Much more happened, but I really just wanted an excuse to share this pic - obviously!

Flickr

So after my last post, my great friend/ex-roomie, Janice, suggested that I try out Flickr. Actually, she was kind enough to share with me if I wanted, but after looking into it, I realized that Flickr may be worth the fee for my own pro account... and boy am I having fun!

I have signed up and posted 26photos... most of them are doubles of the same shot but I'm playing around with colour/contrast/etc, digital makes being "artistic" so easy... kinda weird learning about all the things I can do now with my new toy... but a thrilling weird, not a wary weird!!!

Here's an example of a shot I took of my sis inside a VW caterpillar art piece at MoMA in NYC last weekend (where I took 347photos, fyi... but most of them are junk because I really do feel like a beginner with this newfangled DSLR, haha):


the other 25 can be found at this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ncsteph/

Let me know if it doesn't work, because I'm new to the world of Flickr... you may or may not need to sign up to view the pics. I would also like to know if signups are required, so please share your experience if you're a Flickr newbie, too! :)

Tomorrow is a family reunion - this is an annual event, one I have attended exactly once in my life, 17yrs ago - held right near Columbia, so I am heading out with the grandparents... look for new photos from that experience - I anticipate food blogging and maybe a video of some REAL southern accents, yay! :)

Love,
SS

I feel complete again!

My new baby!



I finally broke down and got myself a digital SLR this week. I decided that I can't go to FRANCE without one, that it's been way too long since I concentrated on my art (my film SLR died my 2nd week in Ireland 2 years ago... boohoo), and that I could get it for 18mos no interest, so I make the leap.

I am soooo excited! It's a Nikon, & I am used to a Canon, so I will be practicing lots. Maybe I'll share on here, who knows? :)

I mean, I will DEFINITELY be sharing my pics from France, so don't worry!

This camera came as a package, so I got a free camera bag & a $400 lens for less than $200. So now I have 2 lenses: 18-55 & 55-200, YES!

Please, just expect stalker pics.

For now, I must wait until my battery charges before i can play, so bear with me, but what a GREAT St Patrick's Day gift to myself, I do say so! (It was delivered today)

okay! the battery just finished charging, so I'm gonna run PLAY!!!

(and by run, I don't mean literally... do you KNOW me?)

XOXO