change

Change of plans, change of heart, change of address...

Hello to the 8 people who read my blog!

I have been posting on here for a few years - since I moved to Ireland and had lots of people to keep informed... and it has been a great way to log my journeys, but...

I think it is time to make a change.

I thought about it when I moved suddenly from Limerick to Calgary back in 2008 and didn't blog for several months. I realised then that I am person who writes when I feel inspired and that my time in Calgary felt more like waiting (for my PhD to begin) than actually living. I didn't like that mindset, but chose to postpone my removal from blogland until I was in a better state of mind.

Once I was in SC and felt like I was moving directionally rather than plateauing, Failte was a good venue for regular updates.

Then France happened, which provided great fodder for here...

and then France didn't happen. & life got... unpredictable... chaotic... kind of spiraling downward... and I was trying to refrain from self-pity and self-criticism about my decision to leave France. I know it was the right decision, but I was definitely not inspired to write about my life's happenings.

And recently I realised that I don't enjoy only writing when I am "inspired". I want to live life, to enjoy it, to find wonder in the every day!

This change of focus, change of heart, change of "intent", I guess, well... it's allowed me to come to the conclusion that maybe I should officially put FAILTE on hiatus for now.

Maybe I don't need/want to think in terms of "tales" and "journeys", of "lessons" and "experiences" that can be journaled into this format...

so I am trying something new - we will see if it works. We will see if I decide I like the story-telling/novel-writing format better. But for those of you who have been wondering - I know a few of you have asked me personally where I have gone... my internet blogging space has found a new home...

if you are interested in finding that address, PLEASE feel free to ask! (it's a tumblr account) I will email you the new URL. I don't want to post it on here for spamming/paranoia reasons. Sorry for the inconvenience!

I heart you all :)

My mom's birthday, or...

Day 15: Another French Saturday

My plan for today was to (1) come up with an abstract for a conference being held at UL (my MA alma mater in Ireland) in November, (2) plan this week’s classes, (3) mark some written work done by the students, (4) work on a translation piece I’m doing to improve my French & (5) finally get started on some grant work I wanted done before I moved... NATURALLY, that’s exactly what happened, hah.

Instead, I woke around noon and played around on the INTERNET & looking & maps of the city/region to get acquainted with bus/tram routes, etc. Turns out I can’t really do the grant-writing until I’ve printed stuff off & needed access to a printer... which is impossible to find, & my uni office bldg is locked on the weekends. SO...

I went into centre ville (town centre) to run some errands... another nice, sunshiny day... lovely! Needed an adaptor for my macbook to connect to the projectors in the classrooms & got lost in the winding streets looking for the Mac store (actually, it’s the “bemac” store... but whatever – it had my product!) & realized that it was right in the place de la Réunion that I’ve been talking lots about. Then I wandered the shops for a bit – went into H&M (it is GIANT) & got a flashdrive at Chapitres, bought some strawberries at a farmer’s market, & found some much-needed supplies at the grocery store, including a knife! I can now slice & dice tomatoes & cucumbers and be a part of the human race again. haha.

I returned home & was on skype with family for a while, then Caroline (the girl from Mulhouse who lived in SC last year) came by with more much-needed supplies (including a duvet & plates! It’s starting to feel like I’m living here & not just surviving...). Then I headed out to Claire’s place to actually try & plan.

We didn’t get much done, but we’re progressing – trying to come up with lesson plans for 6 levels of English over an 11-wk span in 2days is just not reasonable. The fact that (in the English-speaking world) she’s mostly been exposed to Brit Culture & I’ve mostly been exposed to everything BUT Brit culture (okay, not South African... but still) is both a Pro and a Con. We have a wide variety of subject matter to choose from, which makes it both fun & distracting... so it’s slow-going.

After an hour or so of “planning”, we headed over to a prof’s house for an evening with the faculty. The lady’s home we visited was beautiful! It had quite a lot of character and she’s only just moved in – cannot wait to see what she does with the place. The evening went well – a little painful at times, mostly because non of us really know one another and the guests spanned 22 year old lecteurs/lectrices right out of Uni to the Dean of the College of Arts (guessing around 60)... it was a little to “highbrow” for my comfort, but I’ll need to get used to that, eh? Thankfully, my family once again saved me and I had been “invited” to play a board game for my mom’s birthday.

The hostess had been offering to lend me a toaster oven since I arrived, but I’d never gotten around to picking it up, so while I was there, I took it with me... and since my tram wasn’t due for another 20 mins when I got to the station, rather than sitting in the dark alone with my toaster oven, I decided to walk home... took me about 12mins!

I got home in time to join the family on skype for a game of “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” & had a blast! I heart board games. Such a nerd.

That took me until about 1am my time, when I joined Dracula before bed.

Notice how much I accomplished on my “todo” list??? le SIGH.

not too shabby

Day 14 was LONG... but fantastic!!!

I was at work by 8:30 preparing for my 9am class. The class was too big for the room & the temporary room I was assigned had another class in it, so it looked to be one of “those” days. First class – third year – was advanced beyond my expectations, so the class went by without much effort on their end, but they were all very sweet and seemed glad to be there, which was nice...

Next class was the Master’s class, which ROCKED. Well, as much as a class of 4 girls + me can “rock”. We, too, had a classroom conflict that was tougher to correct than class 1, so we didn’t get started until half past the hour, which left us with a 30-min course. Awesome. But then we talked the whole time about our research interests, places to get materials, and of COURSE, utopian studies! That last part makes me happier than usual because these students actually wanted to learn more about the topic – they were genuinely interested, yay!

Then I had a 5-hr break until my next class. I went back to the office and ran into N – the colleague I had met yesterday – and when I told her how excited I was that the students wanted to know about Utopian Studies, she was curious about it herself, so we talked and she is hoping to have me come in and talk with a few classes about the topic because it would be a good idea for a research project required by many of them... AWESOME! Then I had lunch with Claire, prepped for the evening class, and my break was over... wow.

The last class of the day was another LanSAD 2hr job, but this time I was ready. WHEW. It was another class of all girls – about 12 out of the 18 registered students – and everything went exactly according to plan!!! That never happens! I felt respected, which was fantastic, but we had fun, too... I think... they all fully participated and learned lots of new vocabulary and even took homework with them (we’ll see in a week if they actually DID it). I was bored with the generic intros and decided just to get right to work, but I integrated some “get to know you” questions in throughout the lesson... I think I pulled it off, whew! At the end of class, one girl did come to me concerned that she may not be strong enough in English to stay in the course and I asked her to keep trying and reminded her to not compare herself with the others in the class, but to look for improvement in herself - & she seemed encouraged... don’t know if she’ll return or not, but I feel like I handled things okay...

At the end of the day, X offered a few of us lifts home – so thoughtful! – and I had a supper break at home before heading into town for an evening in at Claire’s with some other lecteur/lectrices. We listened to music, did the tapas/snack thing (which is turning out to be quite an enjoyable tradition!), watched the Ministry of Silly Walks clip from Monty Python on YouTube and debriefed on our past couple days. I must say that after hearing the stories from other depts., I am really, truly grateful to be in the Dept of English!!!

SIDE NOTE: In the afternoon, I was able to talk to my bosses about possibly taking a Friday off in November for a conference in Limerick at UL... looks to be an option, YAY! Now I need to pull together an abstract and see if it gets accepted. It’s in Gender Studies, which is not my area of expertise (or even serious interest), but I did take a Gender Theory course last term and have recently written on Goldsmith at Judy Butler, which was “interesting”... so I am hopeful – and it would just be FANTASTIC if I had a reason to return to the campus!

the "i" word

Days 12 & 13

So things I’ve learned in the past few days include the fact that when I have the INTERNET, I am less likely to write journal entries and more likely to watch tv shows online or skype with people live.

SO.

I got the INTERNET on Tuesday (day 12). I was up early(ish) to go to the bank – got my bank card (PTL) and my own mobile phone, woot! I spent much of the day playing with the phone before I taught 3hrs back-to-back. One was another first-year course (last one of the week, whew!) and then right into a 2-hr LanSAD block. LanSAD = languages for students of other disciplines, which means that these are NOT English majors. But they are in Arts & Humanities, so either other languages (French, German, Comp Lit), history or “the science of education”. This class had 15 enrolled and 6 girls showed up. We did basic introductions, a writing warm-up, talked about the course, and went across the hall to the computer lab to look at the English websites I mentioned in my previous post. All 6 girls ended up on hotguysreadingbooks. Hilarious! So then we* all chose a photo, described what was happening in the photo, why they chose it, what the guy looked like, and if he really was “hot”. haha. SAD.

Then I went home to learn that my INTERNET was working!!!!!! So I talked on Skype with my niece & grandparents – what FREEDOM!!! And then I watched the latest episodes of Rizzoli & Isles and Covert Affairs before falling asleep to Dracula**+.

Day 13 was pretty uneventful – YES! – I had no courses to teach, which was lovely... but I went into the office for a few hours anyway. I prepared for the Third-Year classes & Master’s students that take up most of Thurs & Fri, planned a tiny-bit with Claire, met a new colleague – N – who’s offered to share some French music with me to help me learn the language... and started translating an article from English into French as homework for a class I cannot attend. But I still want to learn, so I’m doing the work for practice.

Then I went grocery shopping – bread, cheese, jam, chips & salsa, and dehydrated foods that I can fix with boiling water from an electric kettle (like soup packets, mashed potatoes & ramen noodles***) before going home to enjoy the INTERNET! I talked with my stepdad and sister today... gave a video tour of the studio apartment in which I live, the giant baguette I bought and a couple varieties of cheese that make me happy.

Then I returned home to study the IKEA website and create my wishlist for when I get paid, before watching Psych & True Blood before crashing. No Dracula tonight, but I got really distracted with the features of the new phone – including Bluetooth****.

*by “we”, I mean they.

**this book feels like it is taking forever to read, but I am kind of glad because I can’t justify buying another book right now... so it’s all good! but if anyone wants to ship some English books just for fun, FEEL FREE!

+ I almost said “falling asleep with Dracula”, but figured that just wasn’t right...

***ramen noodles – the ones that cost like 7cents in the States – cost 1,05 Euros here, what?!?

****did I mention that I now have the INTERNET???????? :)

Lectrice!

Day 11

I wonder how long I can keep up the every day journaling... it would be wild if I was like, “Day 294”... but I don’t have that much dedication, haha! We’ll just have to wait and see.

Today was my first day of teaching classes, yay!!!

I repeated nearly the same introductory lesson 4 times, so there is really not much to tell, but I will try:

I had 2 L1 and 2 L2 classes today. L1s are first-year English majors and L2s are (logically) the 2^nd-years. The classes were an hour each and went like this:

1) Introduced my name & email address.

2) took roll – had them spelling their names in English, fun times.

3) explained the exam expectations

4) explained that this course is an oral class, that they would be graded on participation and that I wanted to make this experience open & comfortable – I also spoke a phrase or 2 in French to show them that my French is worse than their English, which helped them open up

5) talked about me for 30 mins, where “me” included: utopian studies, environmentalism & Jason Mraz

6) one of the oral exams will be finding an English source that they would consider a “favourite” and come prepared to answer questions about it in class... I am asking for websites, but am willing to accept any English source... I gave examples of my 3 fave websites:

www.superforest.org

www.yourjoyologist.com

www.hotguysreadingbooks.tumblr.com

and one blog: www.freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.org (aka Jason Mraz’ blog).

7) After that, I told the story of how I prepared for France with various vocabularies, did not think about medical and ended up in the ER (as you’ve already read in great detail) and then

8) we talked for 15-20mins about injuries/accidents/going into labour/etc... except the few students who got distracted by

9) making up stories about crashing their airplane onto an island where they met Tom Cruise who broke one girl’s heart, kissed another girl... and the guy (who made it clear that he did not kiss Tom Cruise) got acting advice & was offered a part in his next film -- & the one guy to told me that he would “love” to talk about Ernest Hemingway*, but that his throat hurt. HAH.

10) during the conversations, I would note vocabulary words on the board that I noticed they were struggling with

Overall, I feel like it was a successful day. There were some shy students, some students who just joked around (but in English, so I didn’t mind), and other students who had to be reminded that this was an ENGLISH class – but only once and then they at least kept trying, which I felt was a great beginning.

Some students have already asked to meet with me for coffee to practice more, and want to stop by my office, and if that happens, then I will feel as though I am doing my job, because it means that they want to learn and feel comfortable enough with me to ask for help.

I do feel like I need to offer a more structured environment in future classes, because there were times when they were just at a loss for ideas, but I think I can do it ONCE I HAVE INTERNET and can prepare film/tv/music clips!!! argh.

We shall see how tomorrow turns out... I have a 2-hr class of non-English majors in the afternoon and I am a little concerned about how to fill up that much time on the first day of class... but I refuse to be anxious. I have been given such little guidance that I will not allow myself to worry about expectations.

In other academic-related news: I ran into D** after my last class and I want to take several of his classes, one of which is a sort of a translation from English-into-French course to help me with French vocab that conflicts with one of the classes I’m teaching, so he was like “just tell Ellen*** that you will be working with me on a big transatlantic project between Princeton and Sorbonne (I think? – some major French uni, at any rate) and that you need that block of time to be changed” and I was like do you HAVE a project like that, because count me in! I will ask Ellen if it is possible... people seem to think it is... and maybe that project really does exist, in which case, I will be so excited! I intend to attach myself to this guy in whichever academic fashion I can because he has so much I can learn... I intend to get as much out of this French experience as possible, & that includes networking in Academia. Even if I don’t get the schedule change, he has given me the homework for his class... should be enlightening! I hear from his students that he’s pretty harsh & his standards are really high... so I aim to seriously apply myself. And hopefully he won’t tell me I’m an idiot.

After all that, I met up with some colleagues at a pub in town (that also sold coffee, which rocked) and then we migrated to Sara’s place after a pit stop at the grocery store for what I called Alsacian tapas (a little bit of everything... sort of a sampler of Alsacian foods) and the group of us had a nice visit!

I have finished Firefly & Serenity, plus it’s late & I am exhausted after the teaching day, so I think I am going to read a bit of Dracula and then crash.

PS

Have I mentioned how I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I GET INTERNET IN MYPLACE????

*I have no clue where he pulled Hemingway from... maybe because I’m American? But I found it entertaining... and he told me all of that in English, so it was alright :)

**D = the C18 Oscar Wilde/4 Weddings & a Funeral Scottish guy blend who fascinates me. In case you’ve forgotten. Or maybe you don’t care. oh well!

*** prob self-evident, but just in case: Ellen is responsible for the timetables and classroom assignments in our dept